Friday, May 22, 2020

Katie's Book Club


On my 26th Birthday, back in March, I realized that over the years, I was spending less and less time reading books and more time on Social Media. This realization ultimately helped me decided that I needed to read 26 books in my 26th year. Seemed like a very tall task, but, thanks to the Q, I've already read 12 books. Taking the time to actually sit down and read all these books has been a great reminder of how much I LOVE to read and has truly been amazing for my mental health. It's easy to sit and scroll through Instagram or Twitter, but, it's fulfilling to sit down, read a good book, and learn something. I am sure there are folks out there that can resonate with this, which is why I want to share all the books I've read so far in my 26th year, plus a few that are still in my queue waiting to be read. If you want my opinion on where to start, Untamed by Glennon Doyle is absolutely incredible. I'd love to hear if you have read anything that you would recommend below in the comments. All images are clickable and will link you straight to order. 


H A P P Y R E A D I N G





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Shopping in the Q


Here's the deal, I am an online shopaholic. Liiiiike to the point where my delivery labels are "MOM DON'T HIDE MY PACKAGE" (temporarily living with my parents so the judgement on the amount of boxes I receive is REAL). Lucky for y'all, I've saved all my faves that I've purchased in April/May!! Do yourself a solid and treat yo self. All images are shoppable by simply clicking the pics! What are your favorite purchases during this season of the COVID? Let me know in the comments!

S H O P M Y F A V E S :




A M A Z O N : 

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Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Pursuit of Happiness

I'm going to be very honest, I'm nervous to write this blog post. I've gone back and forth with myself on whether or not I should share what has been going on in the life of Katie Henry because I want to be sensitive to all those who are going through a rough time right now. I have been worried that people would feel I am oblivious to what is important right now/take away that I simply don't care or feel any remorse. So, before I go any further, I want to make it very clear that I do understand the current world situation and feel deeply sorry for all those going through a rough time. On the flip side, I have been encouraged by multiple people that sharing what I have been experiencing could help those who need a little light right now, which is truly the ONLY reason I am sharing something that is so personal and means so much to me. Additionally, I want to say, everyone has different views/beliefs and since you're on my blog post, I hope that you choose to read this respecting mine. If you don't feel you are open to that, that is totally okay and I suggest you exit the post while we're both ahead.

If you read my Doing This For Me blog post back in January or follow my Instagram/Twitter, you likely know that I've been through some shit. If you haven't read that blog post or don't follow me, maybe go do one or the other if you want a little insight because that's not what this blog post is about. This post is about where I am now and how genuinely happy I am for the first time in a very very very long time.

Over the last few months, I have taken a ton of time to focus on myself, my spirituality, and figuring out what I want in my personal life. I've adopted meditation, daily affirmations, manifesting, and have found ways to express gratitude daily. These 4 things along with recently adding reading books back into my daily routine are what have drastically changed my life. 

Everyday when I wake up, I spend the first 30-45 minutes following a guided meditation. Typically I follow meditations by Gabby Bernstein - she's seriously the QUEEN of Spirituality. Sometimes these meditations are completely general, sometimes I lean into one focused on anxiety/negative thoughts, this is truly dependent on my mood when I wake up. Meditating is in my opinion, one of the best ways to relax and clear your mind for the day ahead. After I am done with my meditation, I spent about 5-10 minutes writing in my Gratitude Journal, this is as easy as it sounds, I quite literally write "I am so grateful for the gym, I am so grateful for my Mom"... you get the point. There is something so beautiful and refreshing about starting the day with a grateful heart. Yes....... I realize it may sound silly, try it anyways and if it doesn't work for you, I recommend doing some digging as to why being grateful doesn't bring you peace or joy. Somewhere in my morning routine, I listen to daily affirmations and repeat them out loud (usually in the shower LOL) that are pretty similar to the little girl that once went viral (I think on YouTube) for doing power poses and affirmations in the mirror. These can be found on YouTube, you can write your own out, (truly do whatever you want) but, I'd recommend starting out with something simple like "I am Strong, I am Confident, I am deserving of the most amazing relationships" repeat for 10 minutes and revert back to them throughout the day if you need a little reminder as to what an AMAZING person you are. 

Finally, I manifest. Well, I guess, I should mention that we are all constantly manifesting, whether you realize it or not, you are manifesting the life that you have right now and will continue to have. A few months ago, I learned about living in a state of "lack"/low vibrations and how living in this state plays a huge part in the life that you manifest. I feel I can probably best explain this to you by example - Have you ever been single and not like "yeah I'm single, no worries" but like "SHIT I'M SINGLE AND THE WORLD IS ENDING"? If this is you, don't worry, I'm using this example because I have been there. During this mental state, we are doing absolutely nothing to tell the Universe or whatever higher power you pray to "Hey, I'm open to love and I am ready to give my heart to someone".... we are actually operating from a place of hate, loneliness, and in a lot of cases, jealousy. Therefore, manifesting a longer time period of being alone with no mans to cuddle up next to at night. What we can do to flip this around and start living in a high vibration state is begin surrounding ourselves with what we want to attract into our life, start asking our higher power to guide us in attracting this for ourselves, and start speaking it into existence. For Example: If I am wanting to get into a relationship and all my friends are getting engaged, I could start saying something like "I am so happy for you and I am so excited for the day that I am able to experience this too". When you feel genuinely happy for someone, you emit high vibes, and eventually you start to maintain and coast in a high vibe state. (This is Goals) Positive and Productive Manifesting is probably one of the most amazing changes I've implemented into my life. I am now able to see my worth, reject any negativity trying to creep in, and truly go after what I know I deserve. No more giving discounts. 

Having the mental clarity I do now has been seriously life-changing. During this time full of pain and uncertainty, take some time for yourself. If it's not manifesting and all the things I do that some of you may view as "weird" or "different", that's fine. It works for me and it doesn't mean you have to make it work for you. But find something that does, spend time painting, write a song, start a podcast ;), write letters to your friends thanking them for what they've done for you, go for a walk, I don't care... just do SOMETHING for YOU. I promise while you may not feel you have the energy or the means, you will feel so much better. If the things I talked about in this blog post do interest you, dare to be thought of as "weird".... I swear, the water over here is just fine. And of course, reach out to me if you have questions, want recommendations on books, where to start, etc. I am always always happy to help. 

Thank you for reading this post! I am truly appreciative of those of you that take the time to publicly and silently support me and all my crazy random ideas/projects. Stay Happy & Stay Healthy!

Love & Light - 
Katie
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Monday, April 6, 2020

BIG SKIN CARE GUY


I am a BIIIIIG Self-Care guy and one of my favorite self-care rituals is having a solid skin care routine. There is something about opening my skin care fridge in the morning/right before bed that just makes me feel so damn good. If you're feeling low vibes right now, I totally recommend treating yourself to one, two, or all of these products. Enjoy and stay healthy :)
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Monday, March 23, 2020

Quarantine-tox

Hello my Fellow Social Distancers/Quarantiners - 
How are we doin'? 

The last few weeks have been an absolute shit show for a lack of better terms. People are stuck inside their homes, toilet paper is NO WHERE to be found, and Gen-Zers are still Spring Breaking in Florida. We truly hate to see it! About a week and a half ago, Grocery Stores everywhere started selling out of literally everything... my grocery store didn't even have VEGETABLES, so I decided this was the perfect time for me to try out the Prolon: Fasting Mimicking Diet (5-Day Detox/Meal Program) which I first saw on Goop Lab on Netflix (shoutout, shoutout). The FMD is a program that is said to give you the benefits of a  5-Day fast (metabolic balance/internal rejuvenation) while targeting visceral fat and providing Gluten-Free and MOSTLY* Plant-Based Food to assist in kicking the hunger that an actual fast brings and the best part.. all of your meals for the week come in a box AKA no grocery shopping and minimal prep is needed. 

My box arrived on Tuesday afternoon and despite the opinions of other reviews I had come across online, I was pleasantly surprised at how big the box was. Think the size of a winter boot box storing all your meals for 5 days! I'm in the process of moving and planned to be home from work packing/getting my life together starting Thursday, so I figured, I'd start Wednesday and brave one day of the diet at work and then finish the rest out at home. Hindsight - I think I 100% would've been able to manage doing this during a work week, I was just unsure how my body was going to react and if I would randomly start throwing a good old fashion temper tantrum bc hangry. 

Day One is stacked with food and supplements putting your caloric intake for the day at about 1,150 calories, which is not far off from my typical daily intake goal. I started the day off with my nut bar (fan fave - I am the fan), breakfast pills (Algal Oil - 2 pills), and some Lemon Tea - at this point I was incredibly high energy, in a pretty average mood, and ready to take on the day. As the day went on and I was able to try all the food this meal program had in store for me, I was shocked at the quality... SO SO GOOD. Kale Crackers 9/10; Olives 25/10; L-Bar Choco Crisp 10/10. Lunch/Dinner every day consists of a powder mix soup that I royally messed up on Day One - aside from that I'd give the soups about a 7/10. Not my fave in the Arizona heat, but, not the worst thing I could be consuming. 

Day Two: I woke up 2 pounds down on the dot from the day before. This had me P U M P E D, until I remembered that this was the day I would reduce for the rest of the week to right around 800 calories (sometimes even less .. shoutout Day 3/Day 5). Nevertheless, I decided to take the day with a positive "come at me bro" attitude.. until 1pm hit. Around this time, I felt my mood/mindset completely shift from "I've Got This" to "I'm at home alone, no one will know if I cheat a little" along with this mindset paired an excruciating migraine that knocked all of my energy out of me. I laid low the rest of the day, packing a little/doing laundry, and NO I did not end up cheating on the diet plan. This thing is not cheap so what a waste that'd be. 

Day Three: As mentioned, caloric intake is reduced even more and Olives aka my favorite snack of the meal plan were taken away from me AND they take your dessert L-Bar Choco Crisp away. BRUTAL. SAVAGE. AWFUL. Everything of the sort, honestly. The good news is on Day Three I woke up having lost 3 pounds since the day before - totaling 5 pounds weight loss in just two days and with no more migraine (yay)! This drastic drop snapped me right back into motivation mode, I was operating off 4 1/2 hours of sleep, but, was ready to kick the days ass, got a great workout in, and just kept telling myself "You're halfway there, you're halfway there, you're halfway there". Day Three was also the day I potentially reached mental insanity, in between packing my place, I spent roughly 3 hours learning TikTok dances and trying to understand how the big TikTok influencers are literally 15 years old lol. I still haven't quite made sense of this. The important things in life... lol. I know. 

Day Four: I woke up feeling incredible, again, I was down another pound, putting me 6 pounds down in Three Days. This motivation along with the fact that I had been inside for far too long inspired me to get outside and do some run/walk interval training (not easy when you're basically fasting). The physical benefits I saw on Day 4 were fantastic, but, the biggest change I saw though was mental. As many of you know, I struggle with depression and anxiety among other things, but, on this day I felt so clear. I took the time to meditate, think about what I want in life, and had some really crazy epiphanies about myself, those in my life, and where my focus has been vs. where it should be. Let me tell you this was probably my favorite part of this whole program bc y'all know how much I love a good mental health moment. 

DAY MF'IN FIVE: I have made it, we have arrived (this was my mood waking up on Day 5). Woke up .8 pounds down making my weight loss 6.8 pounds in four days. WILD. Day 5 was surprisingly my best day. I woke up motivated to go do another round of interval run/walk training, following the same structure as the day before, but on day 5, I ran .24 miles further. Shoooooook. How I did this fasted I have zero idea. Once I got home and took a little breather, I decided it would be in my best interest to smash a quick little upper body workout, you know just to really kill myself lol. Overall, mood/mindset/energy on Day 5 was probably the best that it was over the course of the 5 days. On Day 5 (aka yesterday), Dakota and I recorded a podcast episode that you will hear tonight and after we were done recording Dakota mentioned how energetic and on point I sounded, which was a huge because I really thought the mental clarity and #mood was just all in my head. 

I SURVIVED - It is Day 6 or Day 1 Post-FMD, I did not cheat once, I stuck completely to the program, and I lost 7.2 pounds!! I am so amazed and proud of myself. And while on Day 1 I thought all I would want is pizza and cake and ice cream after completion, I am so excited to make a good salad, maybe some chicken, and really focus in on portion control. Would I recommend Prolon? 100%. Will I do it again? 110% - it is recommended to do 2-3 times a year so I have already set two alarms for myself, each 4 months apart (July/November) to order another round. Next time, I plan to measure inches specifically around my waist because like an idiot, I forgot to this time around. I must warn you, this is not a cheap program, but, if you take into account all the groceries or postmates you will not be needing that week, it is completely worth it. So many great health benefits - physical and mental. 

As always, thanks for tuning into another episode of Katie shares everything with the Internet. Stay Safe. Stay Healthy. Remind your friends and family that you love them and miss them. Let me know if you decide to try out the program and use code: KTHEN25 for $25 off your box here: https://glnk.io/x9oz/kthen. For the love of Pete, WASH YOUR HANDS.



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Saturday, March 7, 2020

FABLETICS HAUL


In celebration of two of my favorite things in the world: Working out & Shopping ... I figured I’d share with y’all some of my newest faves I copped from Fabletics. I hadn’t shopped on fabletics in years but was pleasantly surprised to see how their brand has grown. So many cute outfits with insanely great quality!!! Check out all the outfits I loved clickable below. Happy Shopping! 

S H O P M E



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Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Spring Basics - Style Guide



Spring is my absolute favorite time of the year - the weather in Arizona is BEAUTIFUL, I get my first non-spray tan - tan of the year, vibes just seem to go all the way UP, and the layers start coming off!! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being bundled up and hiding the fact that I've had a few too many Girl Scout cookies.... but sun dresses, florals, and the effortless yet cute look are truly my jam. 

Yes, I know Spring is TECHNICALLYYYY one month away but we've got to be prepared. 
So ladies, I give you my must haves for Spring 2020: 




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Sunday, February 2, 2020

Makeup Products I LOVE



I love playing with Makeup. But, I wouldn't call myself a daredevil when it comes to my routine, I'm more of a do the same thing a million times because it's quick and easy kinda gal. I wear makeup once MAYBE twice a week (if I'm feelin' wild).. I try not to put anything on my face during the work week - it's just not necessary when you work in a warehouse setting (IMO). However, when you do catch me wearing makeup, you can bet that I'm wearing a skin tone neutral eye shadow and more often than not a light brown/golden shimmer on top of it. Though I don't wear makeup every day, I am still an absolute product junkie. I can't help it, it's a guilty pleasure. Based on my self-proclaimed status as a Makeup Expert (lol), I thought I'd share my current faves with y'all.

Primer: Hourglass Veil Mineral Primer - This is expensive, but, a little goes a long way and it's the only Primer that has ever gotten me through Arizona Summers without my makeup completely melting off.

Color Corrector: Dr Jart+ Cicapair Tiger Grass Color Correcting Treatment SPF 30 - This is the newest addition to my routine, as up until a few months ago, I was in denial about having problems with redness. Again - expensive but it truly works WONDERS.

Foundation: HUDA BEAUTY #FauxFilter Foundation - Shortbread 200B (when I am pale)//Cheesecake 250G (when I am tan)

Concealer: Tarte Shape Tape Concealer - 22N Light Neutral

Highlighter: Jaclyn Cosmetics Beaming Light Loose Highlighter - Bomb (golden sand tone)

Bronzer: Benefit Cosmetics Hoola Matte Bronzing Powder - Medium

Eyeshadow: Jeffree Star Cosmetics Conspiracy Palette or HUDA BEAUTY Obsessions Palette Topaz - The Jeffree Star Palette is definitely great for adventurous folks, I use about 4 or 5 of the shades but the pigmentation is unreal. HUDA BEAUTY's palette is perfect for travel or just keeping in your purse for travel.

Mascara: Dior Diorshow Black Out Mascara - Kohl Black 099 - Rich Black

Lip: Too Faced Peach Kiss Moisture Matte Long Wear Lipstick - Peaches and Cream Collection in shade Sex on the Peach - Spiced Mauve

Setting Spray - Morphe Continuous Setting Spray

Brushes: Morphe Brushes

Beauty Blender: Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge - IMO this sponge is better than the brand name Beauty Blender.

Eyelashes - Baddie B Lashes - #SAUCY or #$NOB

There you have it. These are all the products on my face in the pic above and my constants for a glow up day. Shop all of these items below. xoxo



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Saturday, February 1, 2020

February is for Lovers


Happy February, Lovers! 


Whether you're spending this Valentine's Day cuddled up at home watching Rom-Com's with a bottle of wine and a box of kleenex, being taken out on a romantic date night, or hitting the town with your gal pals, one thing I think we can all agree on is that Valentine's Day is such a fun day for a cute new outfit that has you feeling happy, sexy, and confident. Or maybe that's just the chronic shopper in me speaking, but, you're here... so there must be some truth to it for you as well. Valentine's Day is one of the best days to truly just spread the love. So with that - the best way I know how to show my love to y'all... here are my favorite pieces that will hopefully help you have the Best. Valentine's Day. Ever. I'd love to hear in the comments what you're doing this month or this Valentine's Day to spread the love.

The images below are all shoppable, so don't hesistate - buy the dress! :)

date night with your honey//Let's Just Stay in//Girls Night out





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Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Doing This For Me


I think if you're familiar with who I am as a person/my social media/etc., you know I'm a pretty open book, I like to share stories and experiences cause just like a lot of other people at age 25.... i'Ve BeEn ThRoUgH aLoT.. lol but actually, I feel we all have a great opportunity to use social media to share experiences, talk about struggles, and talk about our solutions to these struggles in order to grow. I feel that majority of my experiences I've shared, have been pretty surface level and vague because I didn't know how to say the things I wanted to say and I also couldn't have possibly unpacked my life the way I am able to now. With that said, I'd like to start this one out with a disclaimer: the things you're about to read can be incredibly triggering for those who have struggled with or still struggle with eating disorders, drinking problems, diet pills, and mental health in general. I promise this is indeed a fairytale and there is a happy ending, but, the beginning and middle are far from that. So if you need to quit reading for your own health, please do so now.

When I was 16 years old, I remember comparing myself to other girls for the first time. I was a Sophomore/Junior in High School, had only ever kissed one boy (the important things in life), and I definitely still had some baby fat. This was the year that I developed an eating disorder. I wanted so badly to look like the all the pretty/"popular" girls because I thought that would help me attract boys and feel better about myself which 1. I feel so sad about looking back and 2. Growing up in Arizona is a bitch bc literally everyone is pretty and it's annoying LOL. I started eating less and less and less and taking more and more diet pills. At my lowest point, I was skipping breakfast (I've never been a big breakfast guy), eating LITERALLY one grape for lunch at school, and then was working week nights at a restaurant so I would tell my parents when I got home from work that I had eaten dinner at work (I hadn't). On top of starving myself, I was taking ~12 diet pills a day. I wasn't happy, I had no energy, but I was losing weight so I believed that it was worth it. These extreme behaviors continued for probably about a year, until one day, I walked downstairs to my mom's office sobbing with multiple bottles of pills in my hands and told her I couldn't continue doing what I was doing anymore. A few days later, I had my first appointment with an Eating Disorder Specialist... the things this DOCTOR said to me, will haunt me forever. I remember feeling so vulnerable and just wanting help and this doctor had the nerve to tell me that I was fine, healthy, and "could lose a little more weight if I wanted to" at this point, I believe I weighed about 105-110 pounds. Needless to say, I never went and saw that woman again.

At the end of my Junior year, I posted this photo on Facebook. This photo is how I discovered that not only was I suffering with anorexia but Body Dysmorphia Disorder. The first comment on this photo was "Look at how skinny you are!! It makes me sick lol!!" to which I replied "i think i look plump..." and it was true, I genuinely believed I was fat in this photo.. those shorts were too big for me and were literally a size 0. What was to come next is something I will also remember for the rest of my life.. a message I received on Facebook from an old friend. "Hey Katie, I know the two of us aren't very close but I was looking through some of your newer photos in comparison to some of your older ones, and begun to worry. You've lost a lot of weight and gotten very thin 😞 it worries me...... I thought maybe you'd gotten sick and lost the weight but then I noticed some of the comments of a photo of you getting a henna, someone sAid "you look so skinny!" and you replied "I think I look plump." that was the comment that made me worry. I've written this message to you a number of times but haven't had the courage to send it until today. . . you may think it's out of line for me to say this to you or make assumptions and in some cases it is....however, I'm not like most people, freshman and sophomore year I was struggling with anorexia nervosa, the summer of freshman year my weight plummeted to 84 pounds, I was hospitalized for a week and a half, due to Dehydration, malnurushment, and low heart rate..... I could've died at any second. After I was released from the hospital I spent the next 3 month in an intensive eating disorder treatment center, I gained the weight back. . . But sophomore year I relapsed, my weight dropped again and my doctor threatened to send me to the hospital, I began eating normally again and returned to a healthy weight.....junior year went well, I ate almost normally, weighed a healthy weight and felt good, then the summer hit and at the moment I'm struggling. I'm telling you all this because I don't want you to meet the same fate I did, when I was in my eating disorder people would tell me how tiny I looked, how they wished they were my size and ect..., I would've loved for someone to tell me that I looked sick and needed help.... I don't know what's going on with you, I don't know if you're sick, if you lost the weight healthfully, or if you have an eating disorder...... I am going to tell you that you looked beautiful before, never EVER have you been fat, you're such a beautiful girl. Sorry for my bluntness." This friends words hit me.... hard. I wasn't ready to accept any of it, so I lied, said I was okay, but thought about that message every day for years. I wish I could hug this old friend and thank her for what she did for me because at that point in life, I needed someone to show me that kind of love and care. I wish I could say that after High School ended things got better. But, that'd be a lie.


Arizona State University is truly the home of the most beautiful/fit/sexy 18-22 year olds in the country and if you disagree with me, hit me up because I'm happy to help find you an eye doctor. At 18 after 2-3 years of already struggling with an eating disorder, things got worse. I compared myself to absolutely everyone and would spend HOURS in the gym averaging about 2-3 hours of walking at a 15% incline and 4.0-4.2 speed. I had to make up for the alcohol somehow... right? I wasn't eating a balanced diet, I wasn't loving myself, I was just doing cardio because I believed that was going to make me feel satisfied. By Sophomore year of college, I was back in therapy and went to my first and only Eating Disorder Inpatient/Outpatient Treatment Facility. I was scared shitless seeing the other patients, I told myself they were skinnier than me, that their problems were worse than mine, and never returned. Looking back I know that wasn't true but I also know I wasn't ready to address my problems. Junior year was probably one of the worst and the best years of my life, I went into my Junior Year so in love with my boyfriend of about 6 or 7 months, more relaxed about working out - I'd go when I felt like it but more often than not I wasn't, and I finally was eating more. Looking back to that time in my life, I believed I was whole, I believed I was satisfied because I had a boyfriend who made me forget about all of my problems. I thought I was on top of the world. I thought my problems were going to just disappear because the guy loved me and would never do anything to hurt me. (I think we've all heard that one before) This boyfriend - who at the time I made my entire world.. broke up with me the day I was flying out to my Uncle's Memorial Service. Love that for me. The weeks that followed were full of a lot of booze, a lot of acting out, and waking up to the Police in my room because I had told people I was going to end my life. I was a fucking disaster. The great news is.... right around the corner was a new boy... well not a new boy... a boy I had known since our freshman year but we had HATED each other up until he commented on a photo of me that I looked pretty or something... idk but he was clearly very convincing because the girl who was such a mess from her relationship that had ended about two months before found herself making this guy her boyfriend after maybe a week of hanging out. I fell for him fast and hard. In the beginning, he made me forget about all my problems and mended my broken heart or at least the parts of my heart that were ready to be put back together at that point in my life. I felt understood for the first time. I told him things I had never told a guy before because I just felt safe. And at age 20/21, I was completely convinced that I finally was fixed because of our relationship. Things didn't end up working out and that shit rocked me. I had just turned 21 was broken hearted and started going out every night, binge drinking, eating poor, and skipping the gym because I was too hungover. These behaviors continued through the end of my college career. I went HAM if you will.


After college, I moved to Texas for my first adult job. It was the first time I had to pay all my own bills, buy my own food, and truly be on my own. I definitely did not manage this part of my life well. I stopped going to therapy because I didn't think I could afford it.... I could've, I just didn't make it a priority. I worked out I think 3 times that year. I drank. Excessively. I ate like shit. Gained about 40 pounds, stopped caring about myself, and just started to turn on the poor me act. These behaviors continued for about 2-2 1/2 years. About a year and a half ago, I finally decided enough was enough and got back in the gym. In 3 months, I quickly lost about 30 pounds, but.... I was back on the diet pills and only eating lunch every day which was a small piece of chicken with lemon juice and from broccoli. After those three months, something incredibly personal that I will likely NEVER share with the world happened to me and it messed me up... probably for the rest of my life. My motivation significantly decreased, I started eating like shit, gained back all of the weight I had lost plus some. But the worst thing that happened, was I started legitimately loathing myself. I didn't respect myself. I sheltered myself. I stopped smiling. I cried every fucking day. I thought about and tried to end it all more than once. I didn't know who I was anymore. All I wanted was to escape and you know what, wine helped. Wine was my best friend. Many nights, I drank far past my limit. Only to wake up to see that I had made a fool of myself on social media, via text, call, facetime, you name it. I did it.

5 months ago - I made the decision to stop drinking. It wasn't healthy, it wasn't productive, and it certainly wasn't the answer to my problems. When I stopped drinking, I started to address some pretty deep rooted issues I've had for a very long time. I realized that I had been putting on an act because I was insecure. I was insecure because I did not love myself. at all. The closest I was getting to Self-Love was fake ass posts about how I was loving myself more and that everything was all sunshine and rainbows in Katieland. I wholeheartedly believed that the more I told people that I was okay, the quicker my problems would just POOF away. Unfortunately, there is no tide-to-go stick for your problems. Through this mental journey, I have learned to release my unrealistic expectations of others because at the end of the day, you cannot force anyone to do anything, you cannot force someone to love you, you cannot force someone to support you, you just can't, and if you do find yourself in a position where you've forced these things upon someone, then is that really what you want? Forced love or forced support. I know I sure don't. I've made a routine for myself, I am up at 4am every morning, I spend about 30 minutes meditating and setting my intentions for the day, then I get ready and am in the gym by 5am. I work out for about an hour to an hour and a half - 5 days a week (most weeks) and I push myself. I don't allow myself to quit because I'm tired or because I'm feeling lazy, the gym is a mental game and what I have realized is as I work harder on myself/creating true mental happiness/my spirituality while I am quite literally just a home in bed journaling, the better my performance in the gym has gotten. I am lifting heavier for more reps. I'm not skipping different workouts because I don't believe I am capable of them. I complete every move, every rep because I am done cheating myself. I am done accepting less than I deserve. I am done being a sad miserable person because honestly ***SPOILER ALERT *** it's not fun. I am done being concerned with having a timeline for major events in my life. I am done measuring my self worth by what relationship I am or am not in. I don't need these things or accept these things in my life anymore because right now I've got myself and I'm truly finding out for the first time in my life what it feels like to love and respect myself. And through this process, I've learned that I'm really fucking awesome.

Moral of the Story is we all go through shit, but, if you don't take the time to dig deep into yourself, you're going to spend years and years searching for your self worth in places that I PROMISE YOU your own worth will not be hiding. If you know deep down that you need to make a change, take some time to evaluate the change and decide if you are ready to face some hard truths you may not have known about yourself and then simply, tackle them.

A final note - I've had some really amazing friends throughout my whole roller coaster of a life the past 10 years. They haven't quit on me, they've probably had many many times where they've been embarrassed to claim me, and I know for a fact they've had to address to people why they've stuck around. I don't know what I've done to deserve all of them. But someday/someway, I will figure out how I can repay them and I'm glad that they're still here for a much better version of me.

Oh and to my family - thanks for loving me unconditionally. You guys are my world. You were my strength when I wasn't able to be strong for myself. Couldn't ask for a better family to be a part of.

Thank you all for reading! If you made it this far, you deserve a sticker or something, so please go buy yourself one and wear it with pride.

Until next time!

XOXO
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Sunday, January 26, 2020

Self-Care Sundays

Happy Sunday, everyone! I cannot believe the last weekend of January has already come and *almost* gone!!! This month FLEW BY. Today we are talkin' Self-Care. For years and years for me and I'm sure many of you -  Sundays were all about hangover recovery, feeling like crap, and eating like crap. But that is not the way we are spending Sundays in 2020!!!! Sundays are for relaxing, recharging, and prepping/setting intentions for the week ahead. So without further ado, I give you my Self-Care Sunday essentials. *All items linked below picture*

Intentions Journal

Barefoot Dreams Blanket
The Universe Has Your Back

The MOST DELICIOUS Aromatherapy Candle
Charcoal Sheet Mask


Champion Women's Joggers

Tone and Sculpt App

Wim Hof Method

I'd love to hear from you! What are your Self-Care go-to's?
For more of my favorite things check out:




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Saturday, January 18, 2020

January Must-Haves


If you know me, you know I am a shopaholic. Every event needs a new outfit and your in this cold weather (and all year TBH) skin deserve only THE BEST. So I thought I'd share/link a few things I am LOVING this month along with a link to my ---> Amazon Storefront <--- which I update as I purchase essentially my whole life on Amazon.

Enough chatter... I give you my Top 10 January 2020 Must-Haves (all titles link to the products):

Oversized Fleece Sweatshirt
**THE MOST COMFY** Capri High Waisted Leggings

                                       
$16 bag that will fit all you need for a day out


Rose Glow Cooling & Brightening Eye Balm
Crepe Erase Anti-Aging Hand Repair Treatment
Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask

Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask
PanOxyl Ance Foaming Wash
Double O Ring Belt
Isle of Paradise Self Tanning Face Drops





Happy Shopping!!
XOXO -
Katie






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